When I was young my Dad would always tell me that I could never appreciate being a parent until I was a parent. At that point, I found that argument quite lame because I thought I knew everything about being a son and consequently being a parent or father couldn’t be that much different. I think I have learned a few things over the years.
Sunday was Father’s Day and I am at a wonderful spot in life where I am still able to call my father and wish him a Happy Father’s Day and get calls from both of my daughters wishing ME a Happy Father’s Day…….a father and a son. It has been my journey of being a father that has helped me be a more loving and nurturing son. As most of you know that follow my blogs, I have had my share of ups and downs with my Dad and it has only been in the last 10 years that I have really gotten close to him. I have learned that close to him means something different to him than to me. Even though I have let go of a lot of my expectations about what kind of dad he should be, I still have a few tapes playing in my head about what it should look like.
When I called Dad on Sunday, I told him how I loved him and how fortunate I was to have him as a father. I also told him how grateful I was for all that had done for me and how realized how hard he had worked at always being there for me. Somehow I guess I expected something like that back…. yet what I got was “So when are you going to France” (my upcoming trip). It was sad and yet I realized that even though he wanted a connection to his sons, it did not look like what I thought it should. Instead, we are meeting for lunch before I go and he is going to give me a map of where he fought in WWII in France and when I go there, I can experience some of his past…….that is how he loves me…….and that is OK.
When my daughters called me Sunday to wish me Happy Father’s Day, I shared with them how grateful I was to be their Dad and how much I loved them and they shared the same back with me. So my daughters have taught me how to be a good father and loved me well and I really get now that “good fathers make good sons.” Happy Father’s Day.
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