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Have you ever noticed how everybody else in the world is rigid except you and you are flexible, adaptive, and most of all cooperative? My journey exactly. I love change and am so flexible it amazes me that anyone would think that I was rigid….right. Ever happen to you? Happens to me… and what I notice is I am the most flexible when I WANT THE CHANGE.

So what happens when other people want a change that I am not ready for or the change is someone else’s idea that affects me? Plain and simple, it just doesn’t work for me. So yes, I am rigid. I learned a long time ago that just because I am creative, flexible, and adaptive….I am also rigid. Welcome one of the many paradoxes of my life.

This Christmas season my daughter got married and we had our second Christmas at our house. What that means is lots of guests at one time. Our new house has a lot of space, but not a lot of bedrooms. I have dealt with guest (mainly our kids) on a rotation schedule with over flow going to the living room on nice blow up mattress beds. This has worked so far but we found out this year that we need to make some adjustments.

So this Christmas what I found out was that I had a lot of changes that were happening that weren’t my idea. I found out how rigid I could be and found out that I don’t like that part of me. I do realize that that part of me has served me in the past and has helped me keep safe and I honor it. I also honor the part of me that is willing to look at some of this change. This is hard for me. I have to give up control and have more faith.

This is my journey in 2012 and beyond. I want my first answer to be yes, I want to be open to change that affects me and is not my idea, and I want to be open minded. I also want to have compassion for the part of me that controls out of fear, holds rigid my ideas because they are mine, and says no because I just don’t want to. I guess what I am saying is that I want the flexibility to be rigid and to be rigid about my flexibility……I love paradoxes.

Thank you for taking time each week to read my blogs and take this journey with me. I wish each of you a wonderful and blessed New Years.

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