Hope and Fear
It is hard to deny the changes we are going through. It is hard to go through the changes we are experiencing. There is no escaping this change....there never is. As painful as it is, change never comes without some discomfort.
Change interests me. My experiences have been that most people do not like change, unless it benefits them....and then it can be uncomfortable. What I have found to be true is the only constant is change. The biggest "change agents" out there will struggle if the change does not benefit them or it was not their idea. None of us are immune to change.... yet we struggle.
The two places I go are hope and fear. They both have many stages and it is not always clear which camp I am in..... I also realize I can bounce back and forth. When I am in fear my world shrinks, I become paralyzed in my beliefs and my self protection is up and alert. Vulnerability does not exist. This is a place of high anxiety for me and a place that can interestingly lead to depression sometimes. The uselessness of fear is a strong force.
Hope on the other hand is a place that I can breathe and see possibilities. I can see opportunities that decrease my anxieties, and I can regain my energy I lose when I stay in fear. I welcome vulnerability. Since Stanhope is my name, I figure that hope must play an important role in why I am here. So I adapted a term that I love..... I am a Merchant of Hope. Not only do I work to stay in hope, I work to understand that my fears uncover opportunities for me to grow and to share hope with others.
As Rumi said "Out beyond the field of right and wrong, I will meet you there."..... that is how I feel about hope and fear. We must go through it all, and paradoxically, we must transcend it. It is only a reflection of who we are and the journey we are on.......AND I choose HOPE.....and I will use fear to show me where my healing work is..........That is where I want to be.