Monday morning at yoga class I was going into a handstand when my knee popped in and out of its socket. At that moment, I had a combination of intense pain, embarrassment, and fear. What just happened? …..I asked myself……Did I tear something? Why is this happening after all the training that I have done recently in yoga to build my left knee? Could I make it through class?
Robert, my instructor, and a nurse who was in class worked on my knee some after class, yet I could barely walk. I gimped to my car and home where I sat with what just happened. It did not take me long to crank up my victim…..why was this happening to me? I have been doing my work, taking care of my body, working on mending my knee…..and on and on and on. It just did not make any sense to me. Then fear set in my mind went to that place of total destruction……in a matter of minutes I was wondering if I would ever walk again…..wow.
With the help of MP and Jimmy, I calmed down, got some ice on it and started to breathe again. As I was breathing I looked over and saw my old trusty Louise Hay book You Can Heal Your Life and looked up knee and joint injuries. I had always found solace in her wisdom of how our bodies are a map to what is going on in our lives …… it has always been very accurate. Knee problems…..stubborn ego and pride, inability to bend, fear, inflexibility, won’t give in….with joint issues being about changes in direction in life and the ease of these movements. So as Van Morrison says in The Healing Game…. “here I am, back on the corner again.”
So I continued to read in her book about change and it says “Sometimes when we release a pattern, the whole situation gets worse for a while before it changes and gets better. This is not a bad thing. It is a sign the situation is beginning to move.” It went on to say, “When we are working on prosperity, we may lose our wallet….When we are working on becoming healthy, we may catch a cold…..and when we are working on our relationships, we may have a fight.”
I got a very deep truth response to this. It gave me hope and encouragement that the movement in my knee represents the movement in my life and sometimes when the lid is on crooked, I have to unscrew it first before I can screw it on properly. Good news….my knee didn’t fall off, I played some rock and roll with the band last night, and today I am getting some acupuncture and healing work done….my journey continues…one step at a time.