Although I have been a sports fan all my life, for some reason this year I have really gotten into listening to sports radio. It started in basketball season and carried over to the football holdout and now the season. Since I am a lifelong student of human behavior, I find it very interesting when they talk about the players, the coaches, and the strategies.
I knew when I started listening to sports radio, it was heavily weighted towards men and our viewpoints in life. Being a Life Coach for men and being a man, there is really nothing new on “the man thing”. Although this week, they had a skit on how men could loose their “man card.” I guess I have changed because it really got under my skin. In my coaching and in my groups, I work with a lot of men who have fought messages about “be a man, don’t cry” or “men don’t show their emotions”. I have seen and experienced the pain of carrying years of emotions with no way to deal with them except our good ol’ safe emotion for men…….anger. We can do anger great as that and joy are the only two emotions that were OK for me to show growing up. If I had sadness, “suck it up”, or if I was scared, “don’t be a baby”. I had to squeeze every other emotion out by either being angry or happy. Have you ever stopped to think why we men have so much anger?
So today I am ranting about the perception of men and how we think it is unacceptable to have our emotions. My father told me growing up “Son, men are logical and women are emotional.” So the underlying theme is that if I had emotions, I would be a woman…..wow……that was confusing. Men have every bit the emotions women do and we are just as sensitive and it’s OK. They had two of the huge defensive lineman of the Texans on the radio and even they were working on justifying crying when then watched Lion King with their daughters…..it being OK because they are with their daughter but they should limit it to teary eyes , not full out crying……..are you kidding me…..I cry every time I see that movie. I cry at Hallmark commercials, I cry when my daughters leave and go back to school, I sobbed when I had to drop them off, I cry when I hear a song that touches my heart, and I cry sometimes because I am so filled with emotion, it overflows.
So call me what you will, I am a man, one that loves sports, one that hangs with and cares deeply for other men and if that constitutes not having a “man card” then wonderful…..I will send you mine, first class mail, with an invitation, to attend my men’s group so you can really see a group of REAL men who don’t need a card or a threat of it taken away if they are true to themselves and their feelings.
Thanks for letting me air that one out.