I DON’T KNOW

There are a lot of things that I know a lot about, and there are some things that I just don’t know. It took me a long time to realize the power in saying “I don’t know”. I always had some message that said that if I didn’t know everything, then I just wasn’t enough.

As I mentioned in my last blog, we have been doing a lot of work on change, trust, and letting go in my men’s meetings. I also have been doing a lot of that work on myself. The common denominator that keeps coming up is when I am going through change is what is on the other side. I know what is happening now, I just don’t know what will happen when I change.

This is where trust and faith come in. If I can trust that I will be OK (or even possibly better than OK) then I lean on my faith to take me through the change. There is a point when I go through change before I let go, where I attempt to figure out all the possibilities. This is my form of control or manipulation to help with my fear.

In one of our men’s meetings, my co-facilitator, Eduardo, asked one of the men who was going through a change process in the meeting… “So what will happen if you change?” and the man answered “I don’t know.” That is when Eduardo said, “Exactly, and sometimes we just don’t know…..and that’s OK.” That was very powerful for me as I spend countless hours attempting to figure out what I am suppose to know when paradoxically……I can’t know because then I could read the future….and up to now I have had limited success in reading the future.

Sometimes the best lessons for me are the simplest……I don’t know…….it doesn’t get much simpler than that. So my journey continues and I am also realizing the more I know, the less I know….but that’s for another blog…..and so here I am once more learning more to know less so that I can say “I don’t know.”…figure that one out, well maybe not…..I just don’t know.